


Babysitting Two Ineffable Toddlers

by InennaTheDUMMY



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Original Work
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley got turned into toddlers (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley make Beezlebub and Gabriel's lives a living hell (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley shall grow up at the speed of humans (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley still have some of their memories (Good Omens), Aziraphale just wants to READ (Good Omens), Beelzebub and Gabriel babysit/raise two ineffable idiots (Good Omens), Beelzebub and Gabriel learn how to be human (Good Omens), Beelzebub and Gabriel lost their powers (Good Omens), Beezlebub is done with everyone's shit (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Was Not Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Gabriel wants his powers back (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens), Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Protective Gabriel, Raphael is alive (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), he/him and they/them pronouns for Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22270666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InennaTheDUMMY/pseuds/InennaTheDUMMY
Summary: It all started with Archangel Gabriel and Lord Beelzebub, one of the seven princes of hell, prince of gluttony.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens), Michael/Uriel (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling/Adam Young
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	1. Turn These Traitors Mortal!

Gabriel and Beelzebub were sitting on a benched chair in St. James, looking at the pond and ducks.. mostly Beelzebub since Gabriel was pretending to read the newspaper. "What did you want, you buffoon?" Beelzebub asked as Gabriel replied, "I called you here for business matters concerning about the traitors." "Well that's obvious, but what did you want from ME out of this?" Gabriel closed the newspaper and set it aside as he looked at the demon who was wearing their usual attire. "I called you here because I will be needing your help in making a certain brew to strike back on them before making way for the new uprising of angels and demons," he spoke with a smile while Beelzebub looked at him with pure disgust and interest. "A certain brew? There are many Gabriel, do elaborate on that." "A forbidden brew that the Almighty keeps hidden from us," Gabriel started as he dug in his pocket and pulled out an old piece of parchment. "I did some digging with some help from a few celestial scribes in finding this. I was warned this would coast me, but anything to see those two destroyed is more than worth it," Gabriel finished as Beelzebub grabbed it and read it, or at least, tried to since some of it was destroyed. "What is this brew?" Beelzebub asked as Gabriel snatched it back and said, "It's a brew to make beings such as myself and you turn human." Beelzebub's face turned into shock before turning into a grin while they said, "I see where you're getting at. You're going to turn them human! It's genius Gabriel, even if you're an complete idiot. So, what do I have to do?" Gabriel and Beelzebub chatted for the rest of the morning before parting ways to get started on their plan of turning these traitors into mortals.

Back at the bookshop in Soho, Aziraphale had gotten Crowley to scare away any costumers who were trying to buy his books. "Thank you again Crowley," Aziraphale said as he reorganized his books while Crowley rested on the couch in the back room, shifting back into his mortal form. "It's no problem angel. As long as we get to go out tonight," Crowley replied to Aziraphale which caused the angel to turn around and look at his beloved friend whom he oh so loved with much passion in his heart. "I don't understand why you're so anxious on going out tonight Crowley. We have all the time in the world," Aziraphale noted which caused Crowley to get up and say, "I understand that angel, but tonight is special! It's been a year since the apocawasn't was stopped! Don't you want to celebrate?" Aziraphale thought for a moment before looking at Crowley and smiling as he answered, "Yes I do if it makes you happy my dear boy. But do tell me where we'll be going." "Ah! Nope! Not happening angel, this is a surprise for you." Aziraphale pouted before saying, "Fine, but I won't tell you what type of wine I'll be bringing." Crowley hugged Angel before leaving after saying, "See you tonight angel!" Aziraphale smiled as a small blush appear on his face while he placed a hand over his chest. "Until tonight, my dear." Aziraphale made way to the front of the shop. A fly was on the wall, having watched every single bit of their conversation before flying off to make way out of the shop. From a block away was Beelzebub, leaning on the wall while Gabriel was inside a coffee shop, buying a pastry and latte for Beelzebub while Beelzebub kept an eye out for their little spy. The fly zoomed in the air, heading to the right until landing on Beelzebub's shoulder and buzzing. "The traitors are planning on going out?" Beelzebub asked as the fly buzzed while Gabriel came out with a cup of coffee and a small brown bag.

"So what did your spy say?" Gabriel asked them as Beelzebub took the coffee and drank it while grabbing the bag and holding it. Beelzebub pulled the coffee away from their lips and answered the archangel's question, "Crowley and Aziraphale are heading out tonight to celebrate their success on stopping the apocalypse, their location of where they're going is unknown except for Crowley, so we'll have to follow, but I do know that Aziraphale is planning on bringing some wine for the occasion." "How much do we need to brew?" Gabriel asked as Beelzebub said, "One. One will be just enough as far as I read. Gabriel, you distract Aziraphale by faking an apology while I sneak the brew into the bottle of wine the traitorous angel is planning on giving to Crowley." "How am I going to distract a fire breathing angel?! I don't want to die just yet!" Beelzebub groaned before pushed him along towards the bookshop while saying, "Just go do it, take him out for something to eat! I'll whip up the brew and drop it into the wine!" Gabriel whined before walking along side Beelzebub before breaking off with Beelzebub walking forward to find a back way or to go through the roof. Gabriel looked at the entrance of the shop before sighing and entering, the bell ringing, alerting the angel who was picking out some books and moving them. "Sorry, but the shop is closed, do come back another day," Aziraphale called out which caused Gabriel to speak up, "I wasn't here looking for a book, I was looking for you Aziraphale." Aziraphale froze and looked at the archangel and looked a bit frightened, but did his best to not show it. "Gabriel, why are you here?" Aziraphale asked, his voice shaky, but held a threatening tone.

"Don't fear Aziraphale, I'm just here to apologize for everything I did," Gabriel said as Aziraphale glared at him, not believing an ounce of it. "Why would you want to apologize on trying to kill me and Crowley?" "I was wrong and I was worried about you falling. Remember, you're like a brother to me besides Raphael. I know I did nothing but cause you harm and I regret it! I wanted to keep you safe and I was clearly going about it wrong. I shouldn't have let Sandalphon punch you, I shouldn't have been so harsh, I shouldn't have wanted a war, but I was so caught up in destroying the demons that.. that I didn't realize who I was hurting. Aziraphale, I know you can never forgive me, but do know that I do not wish to cause you more harm. I only wish that you accept me as a friend again," Gabriel spoke, looking away from Aziraphale, hoping Aziraphale bought every single word, and thankfully(yet regretfully) he did. "You are right, I can't forgive you, but I do accept your apology." Gabriel looked up and saw Aziraphale was standing in front of him. "Thank you, Aziraphale." "You're welcome Gabriel," Aziraphale said with a smile as Beelzebub walked by the back, looking at Gabriel. "Aziraphale, how about I treat you out to lunch? My treat," Gabriel said as Aziraphale looked up at him and smiled widely with stars in his eyes. "Are you sure? You just apologized and I don't want you," Aziraphale got cut off by Gabriel covering his mouth with his hand. "I mean it! Consider it a first step in our friendship." The two left, leaving Beezlebub alone in the shop. "Good, time to whip this bad boy up," Beelzebub thought as they went to the back, looking for the wine and did, quite a few bottles of wine. "Well fuck," Beelzebub thought while they miracle up a cauldron. "Two feathers of whomever you desire to change," Beelzebub read out loud before looking around and seeing nothing but books. Beezlebub groaned while a few flies came buzzing and started searching. "A lock of hair from brewer," Beelzebub grabbed their hair from the back and pulled it out from the bun they had put it in. "I did need a haircut anyways," Beelzebub said to themself while miracling up a knife and cutting the bun off, letting their hair fall back short. Beelze dropped it into the cauldron and added a few more ingredients and added the wine of their choose while it bubbled red. The flies back back with two black feathers from Crowley and one from Aziraphale. "Where is the rest?" Beelzebub asked as the flies buzzed where they found it causing them to head over to where they found it.

Beelzebub opened a door and found a bedroom that looked too neat and untouched. "Alright, where?" A fly zoomed to the pillow and another to the closet while one landed on the blanket. "I see," Beelzebub noted as they went to the pillow and ripped it open and pulled out one more feather before leaving the room with their flies. Once back to the cauldron, Beezlebub dropped in the feathers and stirred it until it was ready. Beelzebub grabbed the bottle they had used and filled it with the wine before placing it back into it's spot and kicking the now empty cauldron into a closet before placing the newly closed wine away and grabbing the rest of the wine and placing them all into a bag and taking the bag with them. Once getting through the back way they came from, Beelzebub took off with the bag full of wine. Things were about to get juicy; hopefully Gabriel finished up with Aziraphale so they can be ready for tonight where they follow the traitors and watch them turn human so they'll be powerless and the new uprising can commence and they'll be able to do nothing about it, but watch and cry over the fact that the world they did so much for will die and burn.


	2. I Said "Mortals!" Not Children!

It was nightfall, Gabriel had dropped Aziraphale at his bookshop some time before Crowley showed up, and Beelzebub had gotten a van for them to ride in. "Do you even know how to drive?" Gabriel asked Beelzebub who had finished their sixth bottle of water before throwing it into the back of the van. "Of course I do. What makes you think I don't know how to drive? I do leave hell to go traveling, I had to learn how to do things in the human world," Beelzebub muttered, insulted that Gabriel would be so stupid. "I'm sorry, I just thought that you'll be doing paperwork and all of that and coming to this dreadful land is a awful thought," Gabriel noted as Beelzebub growled before grabbing the back of his head and forcing him to look them in the eye. "Listen here, you pompous pigeon, I, unlike you, go out and eat while you call EVERYTHING disgusting. I am nothing like you, I take my time to go out and see the horrible, not the good horrible, the BAD kind of horrible, things in life. Now shut the fuck up and trust me," Beelzebub told the archangel who was next to him, staring deep into his eyes while Gabriel was unsure of what was going on, a strange feeling stirred while he mentally yelled, "I shall not think of anything of the sort! An angel and a demon! How ridiculous!" Beelzebub released Gabriel and watched the bookshop, eating donuts. The Bentley pulled up and Crowley got out before walking into the shop and called out, "Angel! Come on, we need to get a move on!" "In a moment, dear!" Aziraphale called out from the back, grabbing his coat and looking for the wine he had picked, but couldn't find it. "That's strange, I could have sworn I had more wine. I might have to get some later," Aziraphale thought to himself as he grabbed the only bottle and a couple of glasses before going to Crowley who was carrying a basket. "Oh! Crowley, you didn't tell me we were going to have a picnic as well,"

"If I didn't tell you the location means you weren't expecting anything. Now, come on," Crowley spoke as he took the wine and glasses, put them in the basket before leaving the shop with Aziraphale putting his coat on. "They're on the move," Beelzebub said, slapping Gabriel across the chest making him whine from the pain while Beelzebub watched the two idiots get into the Bentley before driving off. Beezlebub started the van and drove after them once they went a little far ahead. Beelzebub was going the right speed, wearing their seatbelt, and was making sure to be careful with any people walking by and all of that hunk of junk, but to Gabriel, it made zero sense, but was a stress relief that Beelzebub wasn't a crazy driver. Following for what felt like forever, Gabriel spacing out out of boredom and how it will be to make fun of Aziraphale for trusting him, the car came to a stop which flung Gabriel forward slightly before he hit the seat with his back. "We're here," Beelzebub noted as they started to unbuckle and get out while he too followed. Where they were looked empty, but I guess that's why Aziraphale and Crowley came here. Beelzebub watched the two walk forward, Aziraphale rambling about some book while Crowley looked at him with a fond look, love written all over his begin, it disgusted Beelzebub. "Disgusting, you can feel their love from a mile away," Beelzebub remarked as Gabriel felt the waves of love coming off from both of them and said, "A demon and an angel in love? I can understand because angels are meant for loving, but demons? Come on, surely your lot can feel things like love and happiness."

"You know nothing of my lot, you cocky chicken," Beelzebub sneered out while they followed Crowley and Aziraphale from far behind. "I'm not a chicken," Gabriel grumbled, following Beelzebub. "Crowley, what do you have planned you willy snake?" Aziraphale asked once Crowley got to a clearing, a clear view of the night sky. Crowley sighed, looking at Aziraphale with love coming off of his very being. Crowley took off his sunglasses and put them in the basket before saying, "Aziraphale, I can't tell you what I'm planning. If I did, you wouldn't be surprised." Aziraphale pouted as Crowley set up their picnic area and helped Aziraphale sit down before sitting next to him. Gabriel and Beelzebub watched the two talk for a bit before something zoomed by which caused them to turn their attention to the sky to see the start of a meter shower. "Look angel! It's starting," Crowley pointed out which made Aziraphale look over and see it. He smiled brightly while Crowley looked up as well, trying to figure out how to hold Aziraphale's hand without being called dumb. Crowley reached his pinky out to Aziraphale's hand and placed it on top of his and wrapped around it. Aziraphale's face turned slightly red, but kept smiling as he held Crowley's hand fully which made Crowley's whole face turn red. Beelzebub turned their attention back towards the two while Gabriel kept looking at the sky before looking at Beelzebub and noticing how the light shines off of them so perfectly, but Gabriel scolded himself internally before turning his attention back at Crowley and Aziraphale. "You know Crowley, no matter how many times I see a meter shower, I always love it. Much like you, my dear. I always love spending time with you, no matter if we say little to no words. You always manage to put a smile on my face," Aziraphale spoke, turning his attention to Crowley who looked back at him. "Angel, you weren't suppose to say anything like that! You ruined my plan to tell you how I felt." "I didn't ruin all of it, dear."

Crowley and Aziraphale kept smiling at each other until Crowley finally said it, "I love you, angel. Over these six thousand years, I have always loved you. From the moment you gave your sword up lovingly to now and for eternity." "The feeling's mutual Crowley... only it was in nineteen-forty-one when I realized my feelings for you after you saved me for what felt like the millionth time," Aziraphale said causing Crowley to groan before making a remark about it, "Why you gotta say that? I was burning being in that place." Aziraphale giggled at his dear Crowley, his beloved demon that he has loved for oh so long, who was remembering the dreaded thought of that memory. "You were my knight in shining armor," Aziraphale told Crowley, kissing Crowley's cheek causing the serpent demon to have a crimson red blush, almost, if not, just as red as his hair. "You mean your knight in black armor, angel," Crowley managed out, his voice shaking from all of the love and how weak he was feeling around his angel right in this moment. Aziraphale made Crowley look at him before kissing him on the lips which made Crowley tense up before kissing back. Beelzebub and Gabriel were disgusted by the two showing so much love for each other and for over six thousand years no less! This was a perfect treatment of them. Their love getting punished without answers or being noticed. Crowley dug in the basket and pulled out the wine and the two glasses Aziraphale had brought. Crowley opened the wine and poured the two glasses before handing one to Aziraphale. "To us and to the world," Crowley said as Aziraphale repeated back before the two clinked their glasses together and went to drink the wine. Beelzebub and Gabriel watched closely as the wine went into their mouths and down into their systems.

It happened so fast! One second they were just drinking wine, the next, they were down, holding their stomachs, coughing from pain. "This is it! They're losing their power!" Beelzebub noted as Gabriel stepped out of the bushes with them and walked over behind them, smirking. "Crowley, I.. I'm sorry! I don't know what happened!" Aziraphale cried out in pain as Crowley held him and tried to stay strong for Aziraphale. "Are you sure we didn't use the wrong one on them? We did wanted to turn them mortal, not dead," Gabriel noted which caused both the angel and demon to turn around to see the two. "Are you questioning my skills of brewing potions? Foolish archangel." "I should have know you were up to no good," Aziraphale noted as Gabriel smiled before saying, "Up to no good? Maybe, maybe not. Finding a way to take both you and your demon out, yes. You should be mortal, if not, then dead!" "You had this coming demon Crowley." "Bastards!" Crowley hissed out until a bright light came from the two of them, causing Gabriel and Beelzebub to wince and cover their eyes from the bright light. When it went away, both the lord of flies and archangel uncovered their eyes to see two toddlers?! "What the heaven?!" Beelzebub exclaimed, looking at the two, laying there, passed out. Gabriel snapped his fingers and made the picnic go away, leaving the two toddlers on the grassy surface. "I don't understand!" Beelzebub exclaimed as a voice rung out to them, "I do." The next thing Beelzebub and Gabriel knew, they were in heaven, standing in front of the Metatron, the voice of god. "Archangel Gabriel and Beelzebub. Not the most unlikely pair to have come here," Metatron spoke, holding the two toddlers carefully.

"Why are we here?" Gabriel asked which made Metatron glare down at him before answering, "You have interfered with the Almighty's plan and have caused a great deal of trouble starting with this." They pulled out the parchment, by levitating it; it was the same one Gabriel and Beelzebub used to brew the forbidden brew to turn Aziraphale and Crowley mortal. "You should be lucky that you were given the wrong one; ON PURPOSE." "What?" Gabriel asked as Metatron spoke out loud after using a miracle to restore the parchment back to it's former glory. "The Almighty said you were planning to rid of principality Aziraphale, guardian of the eastern gate, and demon Crowley, the serpent whom tempted the first woman. This was all orchestrated just for you two. This parchment was not meant to turn one mortal; it is meant to turn one into a child, a chance to relive one's life correctly, which is why it is forbidden. It has the same ingredients as turning on mortal, but a couple of things were changed for them." "But this was for the greater good since those two are traitors of their own kind!" Beelzebub fought back, just like the time they refused to bow down to Adam, the first man to walk the Earth. "She is right!" "I am NOT a SHE," Beelzebub exclaimed at Gabriel who hated himself for calling them a she. "I'm sorry Beelzebub, but," Gabriel tried to finish, but a heavenly female voice spoke up with a firm tone, "That is enough." The two looked forward to see.. a black woman with peach blonde hair that was in a slight bob cut that was also curly, freckles all over, and wearing a green graphic tee-shirt that said, "I'm not evil, I just play cards." with blue jeans and wearing black sunglasses. "Almighty," Metatron greeted which made Gabriel and Beelzebub tense up. This was the Almighty? She looked.. like a human! "Metatron, my main guy! Give me some skin!" She said, holding out her hand for a high five, which they didn't "give skin". "You're no fun," Almighty noted while Beelzebub muttered, "Now I know where Crowley gets his antics." "Thanks Bee!" Almighty cheered before taking the toddler whom looked like Crowley from the Metatron while they kept holding the other one.

"Now then, Beelzebub, Gabriel, you both were thick as thieves as humans put it, so I'm not surprised that it was Beelzebub you went to when looking for help on attacking these two," she spoke, holding Crowley close, keeping him warm. "Question, why do you look like that?" Beelzebub asked out of the blue causing the Almighty to look at them and chuckle before answering, "One, I can look like anything and anyone, and look like this if I want, and two, graphic tee-shirts are cool! And comfy. I miss dresses with pockets, but this is nice. But back to the subject at hand. You will be punished for harming these two." Gabriel lunged forward and begged, "Almighty, please! Don't let me fall!" Amighty was taken back from Gabriel's action, but asked, venom dripping from her voice, "You think I want to make you or anyone else fall? I will NEVER let anymore of my angels fall. No matter how rash they are. It was pain and torture to make the angels fall back then, but it had to be done. They can't come back, not unless they learn." "Learn what?!" The Almighty didn't answer, but she held Crowley close. "As punishment for trying to turn Aziraphale and Crowley mortal, and for thinking I will let you fall, you will raise these two until their twenty-third birthday. That is the first part of your punishment, the second, you will be striped of your powers, no miracles, no quick fixes, no anything. You work hard to handle everything by hand. You will live like humans, you will learn to be humans. Am I understood?" Almighty asked as Gabriel and Beelzebub were drained and felt completely weak. "You will keep your wings and your immortality, but you will have to eat, sleep, walk, work, and live just like everyone else. Aziraphale and Crowley will also live has humans until they unlock their powers. You will have to teach them."

"Shall I bring in archangel Raphael?" Metatron asked as she nodded. Metatron pressed a button and not ten minutes later, a red haired male with tanned skin, and a few golden marks on his face walked in, wearing all white. "Yes Almighty?" He asked, looking up at her. "Archangel Raphael, you will take over archangel Gabriel's post for twenty-three years, and you will visit Beelzebub, Gabriel, Aziraphale, and Crowley when possible, understood?" "Yes Almighty," Raphael answered. Gabriel hadn't seen Raphael in ages, not since the fall. Raphael had lost all of his friends during the fall and refused to do anything but work. "Good luck, Gabriel and Bee," Almighty started as they started to get blinded by light again. "There will be a house for you in Tadfield. You will know which house it is, you will feel it. You will go to Crowley's flat and take his plants in and run Aziraphale's bookshop," is all she said before they were back on Earth, where they last were. "Well shit," Beelzebub noted, holding the angelic toddler Aziraphale while Gabriel held the demonic toddler Crowley.


	3. The First Few Weeks

Finding the house in Tadfield was easy as the Almighty had said it would be, they would feel it, but getting there was annoying according to Gabriel's words. He had to sit back with Beelzebub's van while they took the two toddlers, who were changed into warm clothes fit for children their age, and took the Bentley off to Tadfield before making a call for a ride by one of the low class demons who always gets discorporated. One of them made it to Gabriel and told him that Beelzebub ordered them to drive the van to Tadfield. And they made it there in one piece, Gabriel thanked them as Beelzebub was waiting at the door of a cottage that was two stories, wide enough, and seemed to be just the right amount of perfect, but the garden was horrifying so I guess it worked out a bit, but back to it, Beelzebub was holding up a piece of paper.. a long piece of paper. Gabriel went up to them and asked what it said and got an answer, "It's our list of duties when raising these two idiots." And so, their nightmare began on a beautiful night, a night where a demon had confessed his feelings to his angel friend of six thousand years and had the feelings returned, a night where they were almost killed, but were saved by Almighty tricking a demon prince and an archangel. The first day was hard, Beelzebub didn't get a single bit of rest thanks to Crowley screaming his head off since his room was separated from Aziraphale. Beelzebub had given him warm milk, had read to him, had rocked him, everything, but it didn't take long for Aziraphale to start crying where Gabriel brought him into Crowley's room and laid him to rest next to the demon toddler.

That had thankfully gotten to sleep, but it was already five in the morning for the two powerless immortal begins. Beelzebub had made themself some coffee, Gabriel was fine with nothing to eat or drink, and Aziraphale and Crowley were asleep. "Either Beelzebub or Gabriel would have to go in to Aziraphale's bookshop and work the whole day, starting from nine in the morning to five in the evening, the other will have to stay with the two children and take care of them. The shop opens on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Do remember, do NOT sell any of the books, only sell the copies. To the one staying with Aziraphale and Crowley, remember to go to Crowley's flat and pick up his plants. Both keys to the shop and flat should be arriving in the mail at six thirty. Write everything important down, take Aziraphale and Crowley to doctor appointments at head office every month, Raphael will check up on them, and remember to eat, you physical forms need it. - Metatron," Beelzebub read out loud before looking each other in the eye and saying simultaneously, "I call the bookshop!" They spent the whole hour auguring on who gets to go to the bookshop and do nothing all day besides spend time around books and humans who try to buy books. The doorbell rang drawing them out of their heated argument. Gabriel got up and went to the door and answered it to see the postman. "Package for Bella Bub," he said as Gabriel took the small box before being told to sigh the paper on the clipboard. Gabriel took the pen that was handed to him and signed his name before handing it back to the man and watching him leave while Gabriel closed the door and walked back to Beelzebub in the kitchen.

"What is it?" Beelzebub asked as Gabriel opened it to reveal two keys, one with a flaming sword and a book charm and the other with a apple and serpent charm. "Alright, since it's six or so, I'll head over to Crowley's flat, pick up his plants, come back before going to the bookshop," Beelzebub said, grabbing their keys as Gabriel stopped them and said, "Metatron said that one goes to the shop to deal with it and the other goes to the flat. You are not leaving me on babysitting duty." "It's best if one stays with the traitors than take them with while struggling to take blasted plants. And not to mention, I can drive! You can't. You get to sit here, take care of those two, and look pretty!" Beelzebub pulled their hand away from Gabriel and left the cottage, leaving the archangel alone. "Always were one to be forceful and go head on," Gabriel thought bitterly as he heard a cry from upstairs causing him to head on up and see Aziraphale awake, crying while looking at the door. "Aziraphale," Gabriel called out as he went over. Aziraphale's hair was curly, but hardly there, his cheeks were a rosy red, and his eyes were the brightest set of blue one could ever see. "What's wrong?" Gabriel asked, expecting an answer, but there was no reply. Gabriel picked Aziraphale up with hesitation before carrying him downstairs, his cries weren't all that bad, but he was still crying. Gabriel looked worried, unsure of what to do. Gabriel found the rolled up paper from Metatron and grabbed it, holding the angelic toddler in one arm as he read on the paper that seemed to have changed, "Feed Aziraphale and Crowley at six-thirty to seven in the morning." That's all it said. A once long piece of paper was now short and only had a few mare words. "That's is?!" Gabriel thought as Aziraphale cried which led to Gabriel dropping the paper and holding Aziraphale with both arms before he dropped the traitorous angel.

"Where in the Almighty's light am I suppose to sit you?" Gabriel thought as he looked around for a bit before he now noticed the strange looking chair with a small table attached. "That can't be right," Gabriel said to himself before looking at the paper that said, "It is right." Gabriel groaned before going over to the chair and sitting Aziraphale down in it before looking around for something to feed Aziraphale. "What do small humans eat?" Gabriel asked himself, checking the cabinets for anything for children Aziraphale's size before finding some apple sauce. Gabriel grabbed it, grabbed a small plastic bowl and poured some of the apple sauce in it before placing it in front of Aziraphale then saying, "I don't want you getting dirty. Is there something to keep your hands clean?" You can almost hear Metatron and Almighty either laughing their asses off or rolling over, groaning that Gabriel doesn't take the time to know anything about humans. The piece of paper hit Gabriel in the face with a drawing of a spoon. Gabriel pulled it off, looking at the drawing before looking for a spoon for almost ten minutes before hearing a splat which drew his attention to the toddler who had a face full of apple sauce and the floor dirty with the bowl that was pushed and some leftover sauce. Gabriel groaned as he pulled a drawer and found the forks and spoons. He pushed it back in before he tried to snap his fingers to clean it up. "Right, no miracles," Gabriel sighed out before going to clean up the mess while Aziraphale laughed and was happy, wiping off the sauce and eating it. Crowley awoke not a second later after hearing his angel laugh, he sat up and looked around, wondering where his angel was and trying to remember everything, but the only thing he could recall was Beelzebub and Gabriel trying to kill them and his first time meeting Aziraphale which was in the garden, but it seemed a bit.. childish. He and Aziraphale were toddlers in the memory and were confused before becoming friends.

It didn't seem or feel right, but this was his memory, this was something he was meant to remember, yet it was tampered. Crowley whined before shaking off the thought and looking around. Where was his angel? Crowley grabbed the bars to the crib and climbed out and landed on the floor, making a thump. Rubbing his butt, he flipped over and started crawling out of the room, in search of his angel. Gabriel had heard the thump, but he chose to ignore it because for the first time in all of his years of being alive, he was tired. His eyes were closing, sounds didn't matter to him, not even Aziraphale throwing some bits of apple sauce minded him. He was confused, but he didn't care, he just wanted to rest his eyes. But that didn't last long, his eyes snapped back open when he heard a loud shriek come from the entry from the hallway. Gabriel got up and looked and saw the red headed child whom's eyes were orange to yellow with slits like the snake he is, his hair was smooth wasn't standing up like it had when Crowley was full grown. "Oh, you," Gabriel spoke before going over to Crowley who tried to crawl away, but got caught in Gabriel's hands and carried over to Aziraphale. You might be wondering why Crowley doesn't like Gabriel at the moment, it's simple because it was said not too long ago, he remembers that Beelzebub and Gabriel tried to kill him and Aziraphale, but had failed. Gabriel placed Crowley in the high chair next to Aziraphale and gave Crowley the same thing Aziraphale had. Crowley looked away from it, refusing to eat it. "Picky little demon," Gabriel remarked at the child's stubbornness before going to the drawer and grabbing a plastic spoon and scooping up a small bit of it up and raised it to Crowley's lips which stayed shut. "You have to eat according to the Almighty," Gabriel told Crowley who looked at him and stuck his forked tongue out at him.

"Hey!" Gabriel exclaimed at the rude gesture before trying to shove the spoon into Crowley's mouth, but he moved away, not wanting it. "You're being very naughty!" Gabriel told him as Crowley babbled mockingly before realizing how his voice sounded. He tried to say the words he knew before this and he couldn't say it making him scream in annoyance which Gabriel took this time to shove the spoonful of apple sauce into his mouth causing Crowley to shut up. Crowley ate it unwillingly, upset that he was being forced to eat. Gabriel got Crowley to eat a few spoonfuls before Beelzebub came back with a few plants in hand. "I'm back, Gabriel with the plants from Crowley's place," Beelzebub called out as they placed the plants in the living room, just on the other side of the hallway from the kitchen. Crowley could see his plants. Gabriel let Aziraphale and Crowley out, allowing them to have free roam the lower floor. "I'm about to head out to run the bookshop, any trouble with the annoyances?" "Plenty with both of them. Aziraphale made a mess but I cleaned it up and Crowley refused to eat until he screamed. I have no idea what human children eat so I just gave them apple sauce as the jar said," Gabriel told Beelzebub who smacked Gabriel upside the head while calling him a idiot. Crowley tried to walk, but failed, so he crawled to his plants and gave them a death glare which made a couple shake, but the rest of the lot didn't. "Fear me!" Is what Crowley was most likely thinking as he tried to scare them again by trying to choke one of them at the trunk, but they didn't shake. Crowley's whole world came crashing down, he was no longer terrifying. Crowley let go and went to a corner, which drew Aziraphale's attention to him. Aziraphale didn't remember much, but he did remember a time where he and Crowley went to France and had saved him a couple of times. Aziraphale crawled over to him and hugged him, comforting him which made Crowley look at Aziraphale before hugging him back.

"Do they have teeth?" Beelzebub asked Gabriel in the kitchen, watching Gabriel clean the dishes the two used which led Gabriel to answering, "Aziraphale has teeth and the demon Crowley doesn't thankfully. I don't think I'll handle getting bitten by him." "Aziraphale can start eating soft foods like peas and stuff like that, but remember that it's never frowned upon when you feed him mushed up food. Crowley has to stay on mashed up foods until his teeth start growing in, but when they do, it'll be imminence pain so we'll have to get something for him to chew on during said pain or we just giving him ice cream to sooth the aching pain," Beelzebub explained while writing everything down in a notebook they picked up on the way back as Gabriel asked something Beelzebub wished he hadn't asked, "How do you know so much about children?" Beelzebub stopped writing and slammed the notebook to Gabriel's chest causing him to catch it before it fell. "I don't! This is basic knowledge! I gotta go, do remember to give them a bath and put them down for a lap around twelve. See ya!" Beelzebub called out as they left the cottage, leaving Gabriel alone with the two. Beelzebub did know a lot about children, ever since the first woman gave birth, but it's up to Beelzebub if they wish to tell how they know so much of children.

The next week went by like the first day, Gabriel taking care of Aziraphale and Crowley, having a hard time with them, Beelzebub took care of the bookshop and sold the copies of the original books, but it wasn't until the first day of the second week where Gabriel started to complain about a certain pain in his stomach and Beelzebub had to explain that he was hungry and he needed to eat which he was reluctant until Beelzebub punched him in the gut and forced him to eat a sandwich which he enjoyed. Gabriel ate sandwiches, but was still picky with eating, but thankfully he ate what was given, except for foods like ice cream and sushi. Thankfully the next two weeks went smoothly until the third week came by with Gabriel's phone buzzing with a message that said, "Reminder! Gabriel and Beelzebub brings in Aziraphale and Crowley to Heaven, Raphael's office for monthly check up." It was from Metatron. "How the bloody hell did he get my number?!" Beelzebub's voice raged from their room along a loud cry from Aziraphale and Crowley's room.


	4. Medical Checkup and Painful Encounter

Beelzebub and Gabriel were in Beelzebub's van, driving to the main entrance to heaven and hell with Aziraphale and Crowley in the back, clean and wearing clothes that best suited them.. kinda. Aziraphale was wearing a white shirt and grey pants with a tartan jacket they found for him in the closet while Crowley refused to get out of his snake pajamas. "Did we have to let him wear those?" "He's a stubborn asshole. What else could we do? Besides, you want Aziraphale to do that eye thing again?" Beelzebub asked Gabriel who made a weary sound from the thought of Aziraphale glaring at them with those eyes. Sure, it's normal that he has that many eyes, but did he have to use them like that when it came to Crowley? After parking, Beelzebub got out with Gabriel and grabbed the two, Aziraphale going into Gabriel's arms while Crowley went into Beelzebub's arms before the two went right on in. Gabriel didn't like holding children, but it was okay if it was Aziraphale since he was good by nature, however when it came to Beelzebub as far as Gabriel could tell, Beelzebub didn't want to hold any children, but did when needed to. But sometimes when Beelzebub thinks Gabriel isn't looking, Beelzebub would pick up Aziraphale and play with him and Crowley. Something about Beelzebub and children was heartwarming. Gabriel looked over his shoulder to see the lord of flies holding Crowley, annoyed with the toddler who is trying to get away. "You want to trade?" Gabriel asked as Beelzebub asked in return, "You want him to pull your hair?" "Do you want to drop him?" Beelzebub growled at him causing Gabriel to back off. But when he turned, Crowley calmed down and waited for this to be over and done with while Beelzebub held Crowley properly. After getting to heaven, the two walked through the empty halls, heading towards Raphael's office.

"So what happens if we're seen with these two?" "I'm sure everyone will understand that the Almighty placed these two with us.. if not, then they'll have to answer to me," Gabriel told Beelzebub who laughed before reminding him, "How? You'll kick them to discorporation?" "Shut up," Gabriel muttered as they made it to Raphael's office. "Beelzebub, Gabriel, it's so nice to see you two," Raphael noted as he got up from his desk and snapped his fingers, turning the room into a hospital room, a single bed for the patients, stethoscopes, scales, everything needed. "Place the two on the bed and- oh! Beelzebub, I didn't know you knew how to hold a child," Raphael noted as Beelzebub stepped up and placed Crowley gently on the bed while answering, "Yes, yes, surprising that a demon like me knows how to hold a human child." "Gabriel, you still need to learn how to hold them otherwise you'll end up dropping them." Gabriel placed Aziraphale next to Crowley while feeling a sting in his chest. Was this envy? Jealousy? Was he upset with the fact that a demon was doing better than him when it came to raising children?! Demons are suppose to be terrible with everything while angels were perfect. He was the one who stayed at the cottage and took care of the two while Beelzebub goes off and runs Aziraphale's bookshop. "Let's take a look then," Raphael noted as he got up, pulled his long red hair into a ponytail and put on some glasses over his green eyes before washing his hands and checking on the two while Gabriel looked at Beelzebub who was leaning on a wall, looking down, deep in thought as it seemed. "How did you know she was holding Crowley properly?" Gabriel asked Raphael, knowing full well what he had said- he called Beelzebub a "she". "Beelzebub was holding him correctly because I too had my fair share of holding children. You should have seen her back when the first child was born!" Beelzebub was refusing to show any sign of anger, but was annoyed. "I'm pretty sure Eve was thankful that Beelzebub stayed with her and her children. But I'm not so sure what happened when Eve passed, I'm sure Beelzebub was upset that she died, but she kept," Raphael got cut off by the slam of a door drawing the four's attention to the door and a missing Beelzebub.

"I'll go after Beelzebub. Excuse me Raphael," Gabriel noted as he left the room and looked to the right and left to see a walking figure in black. "Beelzebub!" Gabriel called out to them as they kept walking. "Go away you stupid angel," Beelzebub sneered out while they kept walking, but Gabriel kept going after them. "What's wrong? You just left, was it because I called you 'her'? It's the gender the Almighty gave you to look like," Gabriel said as Beelzebub clinched their teeth together as flashes of their past came to mind along with a figure hovering above them with their hands held up in front of themself, as if they were shielding themself. "Shut up," Beelzebub whispered as they stopped walking with Gabriel still talking, "Or was it about Eve? Sure, we all cared about the first two, but we didn't care because they ate the forbidden fruit," Gabriel started talking about that which led Beelzebub to remember their chats with Eve and how close they were, back when Beelzebub was glad to be female who was strong and stood for themself, but was always jealous of Adam and Eve's relationship. The first person Beelzebub loved and will ever love. "Shut up," Beelzebub said again, small sounds of buzzing coming from them. "But what did happen with her future generations? I'm sure there was one alive by the time of the early sixteen hundreds," he spoke which made Beelzebub hold their hands over their ears as they shouted, "Shut up! Shut the fuck up Gabriel!" Gabriel stopped talking and looked at Beelzebub and noticed what was happening, Beelzebub was trembling, a couple of flies flying around them. "Beelzbub! What's wrong?" Gabriel asked, taking a step forward to them. "Just drop it! I rather not talk about it! I'm not ready to talk about it," Beelzebub told him as he proceeded to press on. "Tell me what's wrong!" "I said," Beelzebub started before turning around grabbing Gabriel by the scarf, pulling him down and kneeing him in the face, right in the nose, as they shouted, "DROP IT!"

Beelzebub released him and left the building, leaving a bleeding Gabriel alone. "Whatever happened to them, I'm sure it was terrible. I shouldn't have egged them on," Gabriel thought to himself as he remembered how Beelzebub kneed him causing his face to burn. Why was it burning? His chest was fluttering strangely, but he felt upset that they'd do that. Maybe this was the human emotion of anger. Gabriel went back to Raphael who greeted him before asking what happened while Crowley laughed at Gabriel and Aziraphale was concerned. "Beelzebub kneed me in the face, but it's fine. Uhm, could you?" Gabriel asked as Raphael nodded and miracled it back to health and fixed. "Aziraphale and Crowley are healthy, but don't let Aziraphale overeat at a young age. And do remember to eat and stay healthy. Oh! And don't egg Beelzebub on like that again. I just went along with it because you're an idiot," Raphael said causing Gabriel to look down and scold himself internally. Gabriel took the two and carried them out after Raphael said same time next month. After getting out of the building and onto Earth, Gabriel saw Beelzebub in front, waiting for him, looking at their phone and slightly red eyes from crying. Gabriel wasn't about to question it, not after seeing what Beelzebub could do if he questioned their life. Gabriel went to the van and buckled the two toddlers in before closing the door and about to get into the front seat, but Beelzebub locked the door and said, "You're taking the bus back to the cottage." Beelzebub drove off, leaving Gabriel by himself. "Great," Gabriel thought once thunder came from the sky. Beelzebub made it back to the cottage in Tadfield, being careful with the M25. Beelzebub got out and got the two toddlers out before going to the door and placing Crowley down who leaned on the wall, trying to stand upright. Beelzebub unlocked the door and opened it before letting Crowley in first followed with themself and Aziraphale. "Alright you two, go play upstairs while I tend to your plants Crowley before making you both dinner," Beelzebub said as they set Aziraphale down and watched the two crawl up the staircase.

Beelzebub grabbed a spray bottle of water and started spraying Crowley's planets, before seeing one of them having a spot. "I don't think spots are very lovely. Do you think you should be wearing these spots?" Beelzebub asked, gripping the leaf that had the spot causing the plants around them to shake slightly. "You're lucky that Crowley is a child otherwise you'll be scared shitless, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't fear me as well. No. I'll make sure your lives are a living nightmare with me," Beelzebub said as they ripped off the leaf that had a spot on it causing the plants to shake more. Beelzebub walked off the the leaf and threw it away before pulling out a pot and started getting to work. The bus pulled up to it's stop and Gabriel got off, getting soaked as the bus left. Gabriel started walking to the cottage, knowing he's going have to warm up after this, he was freezing! When he got to the cottage, he opened the door and smelt something wonderful fill his nose. Gabriel went in, closed the door behind him and looked into the kitchen to see Beelzebub cooking, looking at peace, chopping vegetables into a mince before picking up the cutting board and scraping the vegetables into the sauce with the spine of the knife then grabbing a spoon and mixing the veggies in before tasting it and smiling before going to another pot and filling it with water before going to the table and working on something called flour? "Gabriel, I know you're right there, go get changed and warmed up while keeping an eye on the toddlers," Beelzebub called out causing Gabriel to swallow the lump in his throat. Why did he go into a daze from watching Beelzebub look so at peace? Is it because Beelzebub never smiles? Is it because Beelzebub looks peaceful? No, it could be Gabriel's guilt because of what happened. Yeah, that's it.

"I'm sorry for," Gabriel started before a knife came flying and hitting the wall, next to Gabriel's face. "I said, "Drop it". I accept whatever apology you try to give, but please do not bring it up. What's done is done, no need to make up," Beelzebub said, going back to cooking. Gabriel grabbed the knife and pulled it out before placing it on the table before looking at Beelzebub make some kind of mixture that is forming into a solid. "Go get changed," Beelzebub told Gabriel again and he did as told. Gabriel went to his room which was clean and almost all white if it weren't for the walls and bed. "Why do I feel bad? Beelzebub said it was fine and they accepted my apology," Gabriel thought to himself as he took off his coat and scarf and started to unbutton shirt before stopping at the forth button to look out the window as he asked quietly, "So why do I still feel like the biggest asshole in all of heaven's angels?"


	5. Sleepless Nights and WHERE DID THE TWO TRAITORS GO?!

Gabriel was trying to get to bed, but he couldn't. He had eaten, he had helped Beelzebub with feeding the two traitors, and he ended up getting food to the face by Crowley who laughed while Beelzebub struggled not to as Aziraphale ate his food, but wanted more. Thankfully he had one more bowl and that was it. But it was three in the morning, a time either Aziraphale or Crowley or both would start crying, but they weren't. Gabriel was worried. He got up and left his room before looking to his left at Aziraphale's room to see the door was open and the night light in their room was on. Gabriel walked on over and peaked in to see Beelzebub cradling Crowley who was sucking on a pacifier, sleeping while Aziraphale was standing, watching Beelzebub handle Crowley with care. "It's okay Aziraphale. I won't hurt him," Beelzebub told the angel who watched Beelzebub place Crowley on a changing table and changed his nappy before putting a new one on him before looking down on him with the look of a caring parent who went through so much heartache than one deserve. Beelzebub sighed before picking the boy back up and placing him in the crib before picking Aziraphale up. "Not tired yet, huh?" Aziraphale shook his head in response before Beelzebub thought for a second before asking, "Would you like a story?" Aziraphale shook his head, not in a mood for reading even though he loves to read. "A lullaby?" Aziraphale looked at Beelzebub with confusion before nodding. Beelzebub sighed before they started to sing, "Oh sweet child of given light, please go to sleep, my dear. I hope you find peace, I'll protect your light and your life while you sleep. Dear child of my love, please rest your eyes and find home, to the east and head onward toward home."

Aziraphale yawned before closing his eyes and holding Beelzebub's finger while Beelzebub smiled. Beelzebub sat down in the chair that's in the room, holding Aziraphale close and rocking him back and forth slowly while Gabriel leaned on the door frame, watching the demon prince of gluttony be gentle and caring towards an angel who betrayed their kind. "You have a natural touch, Bee," Gabriel said causing Beelzebub to tense before looking up at the archangel and tried to come up with an excuse, but nothing came out except for a sigh as Beelzebub looked down at the angel in their arms. "You got me. I've taken care of children before as Raphael said, but he doesn't have the whole picture," Beelzebub said as Gabriel walked in and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" "I'll talk about the parts you deserve to know, but most of it will remain unsaid. Ever since the first two humans, Adam and Eve, I went to corrupt them even further after they had their children, but I didn't. I pretended to be human and helped Eve with her children. Eve and I grew close as friends and she adored the idea of a woman being strong like a man and that made me happy, but Adam didn't really like us being close so he pushed aside and never allowed us to be alone, but he allowed me to take care of the children with Eve. When Eve died, I was upset, yes, but I stayed strong for her children who I guided and protected all the way up to the last one of Eve's blood." "What happened?" Gabriel asked as Beelzebub said, "That's for me to know and you to never find out. You should go to bed, it's late," Beelzebub told Gabriel before getting up and laying Aziraphale down in the crib before leaving with Gabriel, closing the door behind them.

"What about you?" "I'll go to bed later, I have a few calls to make." Beelzebub started heading downstairs while Gabriel watched them descend while worried. "Friends? Adam getting jealous? They were just friends," Gabriel thought to himself as he went to his room. Beelzebub pulled out their phone and sighed before making a call. The dial tone rang two times before a familiar frog like voice crocked, "Lord Beelzebub, whatever do I own a pleasure from you?" "Hastur, how is the boy?" Beelzebub asked as the voice was quiet for a bit before answering, "He's doing fine, lord Beelzebub. I still don't understand why," Hastur got cut off by Beelzebub snarling out, "Do not question my reasons as to why I care. Just, please. Keep an eye out on him. You know I hate foster care systems, they're Crowley's work and children are easily lost in them. Just keep watching over him until I tell you to send me his way. Got it?" "Yes, lord Beelzebub," Hastur replied before the line went dead. Beelzebub put away their phone and sighed, sitting down at the dinning room table, hands over their face, tired and full of grief. "Dammit, I didn't want to remember.. damn pompous angel for asking questions. Damn the Almighty for taking away my powers," Beelzebub whispered, trying to keep it together, but was crying silently. "I want to go back to being emotionless," Beelzebub thought to themself, feeling lonely, filled the the memories that haunt them. Dammit Archangel Gabriel, you made Beelzebub, one of the seven princes of hell, prince of gluttony, lord of the flies, and currently, demon being punished for trying to try an angel and a demon into mortals so they'll be powerless and so they can restart the end of the world.

\-------------------

It has been a few months now and it was getting close to October, the leaves were falling and the air was getting colder. Gabriel and Beelzebub were trying to pinpoint a birthday for the two children before deciding their birthday shall be the same day as the Earth; October 21st. It was also fitting since they met on this day as well. "Alright, I'll handle baby care this day while you go out and get them some cake," Beelzebub said while organizing the books on the bookshelf since they closed up shop for the weekend and because they didn't stop working at the bookshop until Gabriel forced them to stay at home. "I don't see why I have to get them cake. I don't even see WHY we have to get them cake, they're children! And no one will be coming to their birthday anyway since A, we know no one around here except for the anti Christ and his "friends"," Gabriel said, opening the backdoor to let in some clean air as he dusted the house. "Don't your whining Gabriel, it's only going to get you a punch to the gut, and this won't be until next month and as you always say, "Best to plan early."," Beelzebub warned him as they started to sweep up the floors. Meanwhile, over the two's conversation, was Aziraphale and Crowley. Aziraphale was wearing his usual clothing, but with a small bow tie he found under the crib and Crowley was wearing a purple tee with a unicorn on it and black pants. Aziraphale peaked downstairs and saw the two cleaning, completely distracted before looking at Crowley who looked ready to make a run for it. Aziraphale started crawling down with Crowley, being as quiet as they can before making it to the bottom before crawling to the backdoor. 

Once they got there, they crawled outside and crawled in the grass before looking at the bush fence. The two went to it and tried to squeeze out, but failed. Aziraphale pouted, almost on the vurge of tears which made Crowley angry at the bush. He made a angry face and angry said nonsense at it, and almost like magic, a small part of the bush came down, opening the outside to them. Crowley smiled before looking at his angel who tackled him into a hug making him squeak in surprise. Aziraphale released him before rushing on out, leaving a stunned Crowley before he followed after him. They kept going and going, getting far from the cottage. "Finally, cleaning is done," Beelzebub noted before putting the cleaning supplies away while Gabriel sat down and sighed before checking the time, 4:38, time for snack time for the two, Gabriel got back up and went to go get the boys while Beelzebub stopped him by saying, "I'll get the two, you just get the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ready." "Alight ma," Gabriel sassed causing the lord of the flies to kick his butt while he pressed his lips together before walking off to the kitchen while Beelzebub went upstairs to retrieve the two. Going into Aziraphale's room, Beelzebub didn't find either boy in the room so Beelzebub went to Crowley's and didn't find them either, Beelzebub was getting slightly anxious so they checked their room which was a mess, but was tamable. No boy was seen so Beelzebub chuckled, panic starting to course through them while they ran to the bathroom and didn't find them there either so they went to Gabriel's room and opened the door in a rush and didn't see a single traitor in sight. "Gaaaabe!" Beelzebub called out before rushing downstairs as Gabriel replied, "Yes Bee?" "I can't find Aziraphale or Crowley!"

"What? What do you mean you can't find them?" "I mean, I CANNOT FIND THEM. They weren't in the bathroom, they weren't in mine or your room, and they weren't in each other's room. They're gone!" Beelzebub told him, panic was started to show through as Gabriel went to them and held their shoulders before saying, "They might be downstairs, they couldn't have gone too far," Gabriel told them as a butterfly flew in and landed on Beelzebub's head causing the two to look at it before looking at the open backdoor. "Shit," they said simultaneously before rushing out the door as the butterfly that was white flew after them before flying off into the sky. Back with Aziraphale and Crowley who made it out to the woods; Hogback Woods to be exact where The Them, Adam, the hell hound known as Dog, Pepper, Jeremy Wensleydale- or just known as Wensleydale, and Brain were playing at and complaining about school and the tests. "I don't see why we have to study for things that'll be no use to us in the future," Pepper noted, tossing a ball around as Wensleydale replied, "They're to further out education." "I don't see the point in them either, but they're there. Adam, can't you do that weird power of yours?" Brain asked their leader, who caught the ball before tossing it back to Pepper while Dog was trying to catch it, before answering, "I would, but I don't want to cause another outbreak like last year. I can only do minor things, but other than that, nothing extreme." Dog stopped and bark before running off causing the four to look at Dog before Adam went after him while calling out to him, "Dog! Come back!" He kept running after him.

When Adam managed to get to Dog, he gasped at the sight, it was two toddlers out here in the middle of nowhere! "Guys!" Adam called out until he picked up the redhead AKA Crowley. Pepper, Wensleydale, and Brain came running over and saw what was going down. "Babies?!" Pepper exclaimed, picking up the other one before the other two thought to do it. "I know, it's strange. Who would let their children out here alone?" Adam replied as Brain snickered before answering, "Our parents." "Besides us!" Adam told him before looking the child in the face and seeing the most unusual pair of eyes. "His eyes sort of remind me of that weird stick demon man from last year," Adam noted as the three looked and saw the eyes. "He does. Take them to Anathema?" Brain asked as everyone nodded. The Them walked towards the village, being careful not to drop the two children in tow. Aziraphale whined, wanting Crowley to be carried with him while Crowley was looking over Adam's shoulder at his angel, thankfully, the walk wasn't long, they were at Anathema's place and knocked. The door opened to reveal Newt, all dressed up and neat, as he greeted the four children, "Hello everyone, what brings you here?" His words were slowed down when he saw the two toddlers they had with them. "We found two toddlers alone in the woods and brought them here to see if Anathema knows anything about them besides the fact that the redhead one reminds us of that demon from last year," Pepper said as Newt allowed them in and led them to the kitchen where Anathema was, reading a book. "Ms. Anathema!" Brain called out, drawing her attention from her book to the children and the two toddlers. "What the- why do you four have two toddlers with you?!" "That's just cold, you never know if our parents adopted a sibling. But to answer your question, we found them in the woods!"

Anathema went over and took the two from them before sitting them down on the table as Newt was in the background, watching this whole thing. "Should I ask around the village if anyone lost their children?" He asked as Anathema nodded a yes and he left to ask around. "Now, the redhead reminds you of who again?" The Them and Anathema started talking while Crowley and Aziraphale's stomachs growled in unison, causing Crowley to yell in hunger while Aziraphale was starting to cry. This wasn't going to be fun. Back with Beelzebub and Gabriel, the were looking around, auguring on who's fault it was for losing the two traitors, they asked a couple of people if they've seen two children with red hair and blonde, almost white hair, but they got the answer no. "What are we going to do? The Almighty is going to scold us if she finds out we lost them!" Gabriel exclaimed as Beelzebub was sending out flies to screech the area and possible locations they could have gone like Hogback Woods. "Calm down, I'm sure they're not that far," Beelzebub tried to calm Gabriel down until they saw the familiar male asking a few people if they lost a pair of children. "It's the weird human with the glasses," Gabriel noted as Beelzebub smacked him before walking over and asking, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear you asking if someone lost a pair of children," Beelzebub said to him causing Newt to look at them and Gabriel while slowly processing who they are and not making any connections to anyone he remembers. "Yes, I did," he said as Gabriel asked, "Was one of them redheaded with yellow eyes and the other blonde, almost looks white with blue eyes and slightly chubby?" Newt nodded as Beelzebub exclaimed, "Do you know where they are?!"

"Of course! They're at mine and my girlfriend's place. Come with me," Newt told them before walking off with the two in tow. The flies Beelzebub sent off went to them and Beelzebub called them off, telling them that the boys are found. Gabriel was relieved that the two were safe and he wouldn't have to suffer through the Almighty's rage. When they got to Newt's cottage, he led them inside and to the kitchen where Crowley and Aziraphale were, eating ice cream with the them while Anathema were watching them. "Anathema, I found their parents," Newt called out to her causing Gabriel and Beelzebub to worry even more. It's like they're getting punished by not only the Almighty, but by the traitors themselves. Anathema looked over and gasped before picking the two boys up and demanding, "What have you done to these you and why should I trust you?" The Them looked at them and looked ready to kill a bitch. Gabriel and Beelzebub sat them all done and explained while Beelzebub was holding Aziraphale who missed them much to everyone's surprise, even to Crowley's. "So to sum it all up; you wanted to restart the end of the world by starting off with turning Aziraphale and Crowley mortal, but you got a bit ol' no-no by your mummy AKA God who is putting you on babysitting your younger siblings?" Pepper asked as Gabriel and Beelzebub looked at each other before looking back at the group and saying, "Yeah, that's what happened." There was a pause from the six people before they laughed at they two's foolery while Dog was barking as to laugh as well. They had lost the two, but had found them, and maybe found some help if needed. The Them could take them out to play once in awhile so they can have socialization with people besides them, Anathema and Newt could babysit them when things come up in hell or heaven or with the bookshop itself.

And they'll have some people over when Aziraphale and Crowley have their birthday. That's always nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. I finally got this out and for everyone to read. I hope you like it, sorry for the delay, I'M TIRED.


	6. Bad Memories

It was getting close to Aziraphale and Crowley's "birthday" AKA the beginning of the Earth. Beelzebub was with the two boys while Gabriel was out, getting the cake Beelzebub told him to get. Beelzebub was handwriting letters to The Them, Newt, and Anathema along with sending one to Raphael who had begged over the phone to be invited. It was the middle of the night so Beelzebub was too annoyed to bother listening to him fully so they hung up on them. Ever since their tolerance for feeling emotions was stripped away with their demonic power, Beelzebub couldn't help but feel bad. Beelzebub sighed as they finished signing these papers before carrying them out to the mailbox and placing them in so the postman can pick them up and deliver it. Beelzebub went inside and saw the two boys in the living room, playing with their toys before sighing while smiling at the sight. They may have been traitors to both heaven and hell and declared to have their "own" side, but it doesn't mean they aren't adorable as children. Crowley smiled widely which made Beelzebub chuckle softly at the beautiful memory of their beloved Eve.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam and Eve had left the Garden of Eden and started their new home for themselves and their little ones. Beelzebub had came out of the ground, dusting off the sand that had gotten on them before walking over to Adam and Eve, their wings held high so they can fear them, but when she got to Adam and Eve to scare them, the only one who was showing fear was Adam, Eve however didn't show a single trace of fear, so Beelzebub demanded Eve be scared of her, but Eve simply said, "Why be scared of someone who is alive just like me?" and so, Beelzebub made it her mission to make Adam and Eve fear her, Beelzebub, lord of the flies. At the time, Beelzebub used to go by she/her pronouns, so Adam and Eve used to call them she. However, after they had their first child, Adam went out to get food almost ever night while Eve tended their small garden of food and raised their child with Beelzebub by her side. Beelzebub would make flies surround Eve to scare her, but Eve ignored it. She would threaten to hurt her child, but Eve simply said, "You wouldn't otherwise you'll deal with both Adam and I being angry and not scared." Beelzebub tried everything to make Eve fear her, but she wouldn't budge. Beelzebub was about to leave one night to send another demon to do her job which would make her not worthy to be one of the seven princes of hell, but Eve was the one to stop her. "Where are you going?" Eve asked as Beelzebub said that she was going to leave, but Eve made a deal with her as long as Beelzebub stayed a bit longer. This deal was, "You stay if I were to be scared of you, right? So, I'll be scared of you in my personal way, and you stay and help me with my family."

They shook on it and it lasted a long time. Eve had plenty of children and Beelzebub helped raised them with Eve. On nights, Eve and Beelzebub would converse and laugh and Eve had this wonderful smile that was pure and filled with wonder and excitement. Adam would sometimes join them, but he was doing his best doing the "man's job". "I don't understand why you don't go out there and have him stay here with the kids," Beelzebub said on night while Eve replied, "I would, but he's worried about me and they need their mother. I don't understand why you want to go out there and fight." "I want to because you don't have to be a weak woman. You can still be strong and fight for what's right." Eve chuckled before kissing Beelzebub on the cheek before turning in for the night. Something in Beelzebub's cold, dead heart changed and was moved by the female's gesture. Since then, Beelzebub didn't want to scare her, she wanted to talk more with her, laugh with her, and be with her everyday of every time. Beelzebub didn't want this wonderful feeling to end, but Adam started to become furious where he would stay with them and didn't allow them to be alone. Beelzebub was angry, but remained calm. But then, they started to grow old and their children had left. Adam was the first one to die and Beelzebub buried him before staying by Eve's side who was grieving the lost of her husband, her love, and the man who she spent every single day with. "Beelzebub, promise me you'll watch over the children and protect them and their family," Eve wheezed out as Beelzebub stared down at Eve's face, tears threatening to fall down. "I promise," Beelzebub said before Eve smiled before dying ten minutes later. Beelzebub buried Eve next to Adam and cried out in anguish, sorrow, and regret of not doing anything about her feelings. She had lost the woman she had loved, the woman she wanted to take away from Adam, the same man she didn't bow down to like every other angel.

She had lost Eve. After crying what seemed like years, Beelzebub stood strong and went on, watching over Eve's children. She would disguise herself and led them towards the good even though she was a demon. She didn't want anyone to tempt these children towards the dark. She did everything she can to protect them. Heaven began to pick up on what Beelzebub was doing and Gabriel was sent down to stop her which made both Gabriel and Beelzebub argue. "You can't stay up here forever Beelzebub! You can't keep protecting them to stay on the path of evil!" Gabriel exclaimed as Beelzebub shouted back, "Path of evil is not what I am trying to led them towards! I'm trying to keep them safe from all harm!" "Why are you doing this! Why for them of all humans?" "You wouldn't understand, you stupid angel!" Gabriel was stunned by Beelzebub's actions and words. This was not how she was back then. Gabriel huffed before walking away and disappearing a strike of lighting, leaving Beelzebub alone. "He is right... I can't stay. I have duties to fulfill," Beelzebub thought to herself before returning back to hell. Beelzebub kept herself locked away in her office, working before returning to the surface and finding the children. Sadly, her duties became more and more where she was unable to keep up with Eve's children. Whenever she was able to come up to see them, she wouldn't know where they were or who they were with and what had happened.

She was devastated when she learnt that some of them had died and there was only a couple left. She was failing Eve's wishes. It wasn't until the 1600s where the last line of Eve relied on one man. Beelzebub was determined to keep him safe. After all, he looked so much like Eve, his parents died in a fire, and he was stuck with his aunt and uncle who were entrusting their whole business onto him since they could not have any kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bee!" Beelzebub snapped out of their thoughts and looked up to see Gabriel staring down at them. He still looked the same from all those years ago. No matter the year and time or place, he had the same violet eyes. "Are you alright?" Gabriel asked as Beelzebub closed their eyes and looked to the side before answering, "I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me, Gabriel." Gabriel hummed before saying he brought the cake. Beelzebub took it and placed it in the ice box to keep it cold before saying, "Go check on the two, I'm going to take a nap." Beelzebub went upstairs, upset that they were caught in the past once again. They wanted to cry from the memories of Eve and her children. Beelzebub wanted to cry from blocking out their feelings all those years and saying a word about anything. Gabriel's brows raised in concern as he watched the prince of gluttony go upstairs. He was worried because he had tried to draw them out of though for ten minutes. Their eyes held great sorrow and pain. A tear rolled down from their right eye. Gabriel wanted to make them feel better, but how?


	7. Bad Memories Part Two(2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING. WARNING. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED: UNDERAGE DRINKING. HARASSMENT. RAPE. ABUSE. ANGST.

It was finally the day the boys would be declared as four, maybe five, years old. After all, they were toddlers and had began to walk while Aziraphale had started to talk more than he ever did when babbling while Crowley refused to mutter a single word, but thankfully, Aziraphale knew what his willy serpent wanted or wanted to say. Crowley has an attitude when it comes to Beelzebub and Gabriel, but when he's around others, he doesn't make a scene unless it's with the people he know. How would they know if they don't really take the boys out of the cottage? Simple, Adam Young, the "ex" prince of the underworld AKA hell, the anti Christ, told them that they would need to get proper education and suggested that they put them through preschool. When meeting with the teachers, Beelzebub did the talking while Gabriel kept Crowley and Aziraphale entertained. The kids were outside playing for half of their conversation, Aziraphale was reading the books, smiling while Crowley stayed by Aziraphale's side, somewhat quiet which was unusual for him since he was shooting off at the mouth most days when it came to Aziraphale not paying attention to him, or when it came to the lord of flies or the messenger who would try to take Aziraphale from him. But when the kids came in, Aziraphale chatted with a few children, but Crowley, he didn't bother to look up at them, he kept his eyes glued to the floor, holding onto Aziraphale. Thankfully the meeting was over and they were able to get home. Beelzebub and Gabriel chatted, wondering what to do about Crowley's eyes, because his pupils were sharp like a snake, before the two decided to text Raphael to say it's a medical condition that isn't contagious, but Beelzebub tried to object to it not being contagious, but shortly gave up because they didn't want Crowley to be scared of people.

But back to the here, and now, it was the boys' birthday and Beelzebub was already on the case on setting everything up while Gabriel kept the two boys away from the kitchen. The two didn't have any friends besides the Them, but this wasn't just for the boys, this was also for the two babysitting them who were going to converse with Anathema and Newt about them watching over them from time to time in case some things come up, like paperwork of them wanting a break from the two. Beelzebub finished before remembering how she put up a piece of decoration years ago. It felt the same too, but it was so different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beelzebub had put up a piece of ribbon for the birthday boy by in the 1600s, smiling for his fifteenth birthday, and knowing his aunt and uncle would be so pleased after this day. "Ms. Martin, is everything set?" Speak of the angel, it was the boy's uncle, Alexander Rodgers, a business man who was the most loyal member of any trade, and a loving husband. The man had black hair and emerald green eyes, he was from Adam and Eve's branch of family- married to that is. "Yes it is, Mr. Rodgers," Beelzebub told him as she finished before facing her boss. He smiled and said, "Excelient, everything must be perfect for Linus." Linus, the birthday boy, the last tie to Beelzebub's beloved Eve. Beelzebub tried not to loose her posture, and thankful didn't. "I'm sure he'll be more than happy to have this wonderful birthday, Mr. Rodgers," Beelzebub told him with the most upright smile displayed. Ms. Rodgers, a beautiful woman with short brown hair and a lovely set of brown eyes and slightly tanned skin which made those around serious with rage because these were bad times for "cross breeding" AKA blacks mixing with whites. But Mr. Rodger's didn't care if people judged him and nor did she, they loved each other more than anything in the world, and when they took in Linus at the mere age of six, they loved him so much and treated him as their own. Beelzebub was thankful that they had so much in their hearts and eyes. Beelzebub worked for them when Linus was nine and a half after not baring the thought of not watching over him in person or being able to talk with him. "Ms. Martin, please, no need for formalities when it comes to us. You're one of the family!" Beelzebub's smile brighten at the thought of being part of the family. That's all they wanted besides loving Eve, they wanted to be part of the family, not just as a friend, but to BE part of it!

Hell is "nice" in a way, but it wasn't family, but this! This IS family. Family looks out for each other and cares for one another. Beelzebub should have accepted it back then, but she didn't. "Mr. Rodgers, please. I'm sure you wouldn't want me part of it. I'm just a simple maid." The day progressed and Linus saw everything ready for him, but he wasn't pleased. He wanted more. It only got worse when Linus was told he would take over Rodger's business in trades. He yelled before storming out after slapping the cake that was gotten just for him onto the floor. Beelzebub felt as if it was her fault that he was bitter towards the world. She thought she should have done better. Beelzebub cleaned that spot on the floor throughout the night, knowing she could have simply miracle it clean, but Beelzebub was doing this to make sure she knew she was responsible for not trying hard enough with Linus. Once Beelzebub finished, she turned around and saw Linus at the door of the dining room. "Young master," Beelzebub greeted as Linus walked over. His fluffy black hair, fair skin, and blue eyes that came from Eve. "Bella," Linus greeted her in return. Beelzebub didn't know why she was nervous, but it could have been the scent of alcohol lingering off of the boy. "How can I help you, young master?" Beelzebub asked in a slight bowing motion as Linus simply said, "You can "amuse" me." He had this look in his eyes and Beelzebub was all too well aware of it; lust. "Young master, you are not well. You should go back to your room," Beelzebub told him, her voice holding a strong, firm tone as he stepped closer and whispered in her ear, "I know you want me. I know that look on any woman." Beelzebub wanted to push him back, but she didn't. She didn't want to hurt the last blood of her first true friend who never betrayed her. "I do not want you, master Linus," Beelzebub said as he reached down and touched her inappropriately. Her eyes widen and she felt grossed out and wanted to fight him off, but she didn't.

It didn't take long for her to end up on a bed. He had picked her up and taken her away to a nearby room. She struggled to get him off, she didn't want to hurt him! But in the end, he hurt her. He had taken what she had for years in her immortal life span, even as an angel; her virginity. She felt dead inside and out, she didn't like any of it. She used to take great pride in being a female who took no shit from humans or demons or any angel, but she had fallen weak for the man who was related to the woman she loved. The rest of those years were cold and empty. She would long to be away from him, but at the same time, she didn't want to leave him out of obligation. He would force his way with her, he would touch her whenever they were alone and she would try to get away, he would slap her ass whenever she walked by. He was drinking an unhealthy amount of alcohol at night ever since the incident. She felt as if she failed and that the path of evil is something tempted to by just demons, but by the coming of age. If only she had tried harder to keep him good. When his uncle and aunt died from old age, he took over and had nearly fired everyone who worked under his uncle. Linus kept her by his side at all times, using her as he pleases. She wanted this to all stop, but she couldn't. She wanted to get away, but she had to stay for Eve!

It wasn't until one day, a cold December night, he was twenty eight years old and she couldn't keep herself looking young out of being tired and hurt, she started to form wrinkles. He ordered her to please him, but she finally had enough. "No," her voice was stern and her eyes held great rage of all seven kingdom of the underworld. That's when he snapped. He slapped her. He, Linus, the last descended of Adam and Eve, the first humans to walk this Earth, had slapped Beelzebub, lord of the flies, one of the seven princes of hell, prince of gluttony. Beelzebub was about to say something, but got kicked to the ground causing her to hit the wall and look up to see him with a rod for his fireplace. He started beating her causing her to raise her faces to block her face as tears rolled down from her eyes. "I'm sorry Eve, I couldn't save your last blood. I have failed you, my friend," Beelzebub thought until she grabbed the rod and flies started to surround the room. Her eye had turned into what seemed like the thousands of eyes of flies. "Linus, I have had enough of your foolery! I have put myself through so much PAIN just for you! I was protecting you from danger and you turn your back on my kindness! I have done so much just to protect you for the woman I loved, you ancestor, the first woman to walk Earth!" He didn't get the chance to say anything. She had thrown him across the room, flies surrounding her. He was bleeding and she didn't want to have anyone suffer the way she did. "You shall burn in hell," Beelzebub simply said before summoning hellfire and started a fire in the manor he and his uncle lived in. She left as his screams could be heard with several others. She didn't care anymore.

She didn't want to care. She had left the burning manor, snapping her fingers to change her maid uniform into something more comfortable. She was wearing a suit, but something kept bugging her and the people around her. Her hair was still long and she still looked female. She went back to hell and had taken a good, long look of herself. "I do not long to be called female in the human eye or in any eye." She grabbed a knife and had cut off her hair into being short and had change her human appearance into being flat chested. Beelzebub had finally threw away the promise they had made for Eve and was free. Beelzebub was no longer a "she" or a "woman". Beelzebub was just Beelzebub now. No demon in hell asked what happened, they just knew that Beelzebub had changed a lot. No angel asked what happened when they saw them, but there was one who demanded an answer; the same angel who asked for their help. Beelzebub refused to answer them, and still refuses, and Gabriel keeps pushing for answers, not knowing when to back off. Years had passed and the anti Christ was born. Beelzebub had figured out that they were "non-binary" now and will only be called by they/them pronouns along with being asexual after what happened. Beelzebub left hell that night, hours after the anti Christ was to be given to the Americans known as the Dowlings. But Beelzebub saw the forgotten child that was crying in the burning building. No one was around and he, the child, was alone, scared, and sad. They couldn't leave them, so they took them to hell without being noticed. Beelzebub took care of the child for three years until Hastur found out. Hastur asked questions on why there was a SICK human child in Hell and wasn't dead, but was close to it. Beelzebub told him everything he needed to know, why? Because they trusted him enough to know why she took the child. He didn't know anything about what happened in the 1600s, he didn't need to.

Beelzebub begged him to take him back above and to a loving home, and Hastur did. Beelzebub and Hastur never spoke a word about the child to others, Beelzebub asked him every four months to check on the boy and he did and reported back. Beelzebub was happy to know that the child they had saved was fine and living quite nicely, but not the way Beelzebub had hoped. Beelzebub wanted him to be in a home with a loving family, but the boy was moving home to home to home, all because no one wanted him. But at least he was safe and out of harm's way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Aziraphale and Crowley. Happy birthday to you," everyone sang causing Beelzebub to awoken and notice that everyone was smiling and enjoying themselves. What did Beelzebub miss? Not much, Anathema, Newt, The Them, and Dog had arrived and Gabriel did the talk with the two adults while The Them played with Aziraphale and Crowley. Everyone had cake as Gabriel went over to Beelzebub with two plates of cake. "Nice to see you're awake, Bee," Gabriel noted with a smile as Beelzebub groaned at the name. "Don't call me that, Gabriel," Beelzebub told him as Gabriel chuckled before handing them a piece of cake before taking a seat next to them. Anathema and Newt were with the kids, telling them stories about witches while Newt fed Crowley. "Want to tell me what you were dreaming about?" Gabriel asked as Beelzebub replied back after shoving a forkful of cake into their mouth, "Nope. It's not important." "You're lying, but I won't push it. You can tell me when you're ready," Gabriel said, watching the sight before him as Beelzebub looked at him. Did he change over night or within the time they were asleep? He wasn't pushing for answers, he allowed them to keep what they had on their mind to themself. Something moved in Beelzebub's heart that day, something that Beelzebub thought they had lost with Eve and with Linus. What was this feeling called again? Beelzebub doesn't remember it, but thankfully, it wasn't that big. Even if Beelzebub knew what this feeling was, they wouldn't act on it out of fear. They don't want to get hurt again.


	8. Valentine's Day? Like the City's Birthday? (Valentine's Day Special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel isn't sure of what to make of Valentine's day besides thinking of Valentine, the city, in Cherry County, Nebraska, United States, but when he gets the gist of it, he gets to work real fast with a little help from Raphael and the Almighty who came down to get more dorky items.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Darling I Do by Landon Pigg and Lucy Schwartz near the ending. It'll make it more fluffy.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQNedYPtsyM

Crowley and Aziraphale have been going to school for awhile now, Crowley has been shy and wearing glasses to help his sight while Aziraphale makes sure that no one makes fun of Crowley's beautiful eyes. Beelzebub and Gabriel managed to convince people that is was a birth defect from Gabriel's side of the family, and people bought it, however, that didn't stop people from teasing him. Thankfully Aziraphale always stood up for him. For someone who's soft, Aziraphale was guarding his beloved serpent. He may be horrible at guarding gates like the garden of Eden, but he is the best at guarding the ones he love. But that's not what this is about, this is about a certain day in human culture where people gives gift to each other on the end of winter's cold, harsh air where the air is starting to warm by nature's warmth. Yes, this is what humans call "Valentine's day". Right now, it was exactly four days before Valentine's day and Gabriel was at the bookshop while Beelzebub was at home with the kids. The shop was pretty much empty, a costumer here and there, Gabriel sold a copy of a book they wanted, but other than that, it's been empty. Gabriel did waste some time reading and ended up getting caught up in reading all of the books that Aziraphale had to offer. He was missing out on so much in the world, that he started to seem so stupid! These books were amazing and weren't pornography which Gabriel shortly found out what it meant and felt embarrassed since Beelzebub had to explain it.

Gabriel sighed as he closed the book he was reading before looking out the window and saw a few people, walking around, carrying boxes of chocolates, cards, and everything like that. It was pink, red, white, and everything in between. It confused Gabriel why humans where carrying these objects with the same colors around, but Gabriel didn't pay no mind to it. Suddenly, the ringing of the bell to the bookshop chimed causing Gabriel to perk up and get up from the desk in the back before coming to the front only to be shocked on whom entered. Archangel Raphael and the Almighty herself, but her hair was longer and pulled into a bun which didn't help since it was really curly. "Raphael, Almighty, how can I help you?" Gabriel asked as the Almighty chuckled before speaking in a Jamaican accent, "Gabriel, you don't need to worry about what we need. We're just here to check up on things and have fun since Valentine's day is just around around the corner!" Her dark skin seemed to be glowing. "Valentine's day? As in the city's birthday in Cherry County, Nebraska?" Gabriel asked, spinning a globe to the location he was talking about. The Almighty started to laugh while snorting as Raphael looked to the side, struggling not to laugh. She calmed down and pulled a strand of a loose peachy hair tone out of the way of her face. Her eyes were a bright blue where it could pass off as a grayish white. "Gabriel, Valentine's day is a human holiday where two people who love each other spend time together on a date. But for children, it's just a child thing unless you have the feeling of love toward the one you love, otherwise, it's just children giving each other candy and cards."

Gabriel stood there, processing everything before it all clicked. "AH SHIT," Gabriel yelled. "Something wrong Gabriel?" Raphael asked as the Almighty kept laughing her ass off. "Not entirely, but I have been regrowing my friendship with Beelzebub. Maybe that's why Beelzebub kept staring off to space! Almighty, Raphael, what am I to do??" Gabriel asked the two as the Almighty hugged Gabriel, squeezing the life out of him. For someone who is five foot something and slim, SHE HAS INCREDIBLE STRENGTH! "One, we'll help you plan a date for Beelzebub, and two, just call me Eden when we aren't in Heaven, my child!" She said, grinning widely before Gabriel was let go. "It's not a date. It's just going to be a simple break from taking care of the two traitors." Eden AKA the Almighty glared at Gabriel before saying, "Don't call them that. Just call them "children" or "little ones" or something! Traitors doesn't sound good and leaves a bad after taste." With that said, the three set off, after locking up the bookshop of course. "Here's what you could do for Beelzebub. You can take them out for a romantic dinner," Eden noted as Gabriel thought about it. Beelzebub isn't one for fancy things, they like whatever they can get their hands on, but still enjoy good food, but they aren't a people person. "You can take them out at night for a picnic under the moonlight at the park," Raphael said as Gabriel thought about it and didn't like the thought of sitting in grass. Besides, the night would be cold. "A movie could also work." Again, it didn't go well with Gabriel. The two kept talking until Gabriel said, "Thank you so much for giving me suggestions. I'll think about them, but of course, I need someone to take care of the two children."

"Say no more, I'd love to take care of Aziraphale and Crowley!" Eden said as Raphael said, "And I shall be watching over them so nothing gets set on fire. You go ahead and start planning." Gabriel watched the two walk off as Gabriel looked around and saw that he was already at the cottage. Gabriel went up to the front door and unlocked it before opening it and walking in. "Hastur, don't be so bitter about having to deal with my paperwork. I promise to give you a vacation from paperwork, but for now, you just have to trust me. It's not the most demon thing to do, but just do as I say otherwise you'll be like Ligur, LIQUEFIED!" Beelzebub's voice rang out from the living room causing Gabriel to lean on the frame and watch the demon he was living with besides the toddler demon. Beelzebub was wearing shorts that didn't reach the knees, they were wearing a black tank top and their hair was a mess, in need of cleaning. Gabriel had to admit, they looked kind of cute, but they were still just a friend so those thoughts didn't mean much to him, yet something in his heart caused pain when he thought of Beelzebub as just a friend. "How is Luka?" Beelzebub asked causing Gabriel to raise an eye brow. Beelzebub listen until sighing in relief before saying, "That's good. He's in a better home, just make sure that the demons around him don't hurt him. And be sure he still has his inhaler," Beelzebub said before the call ended. "I could ask Hastur what Beelzebub would like, but I think he'll kill me and the two traitors if he found out we're the reason why Bee isn't working," he thought before asking,

"Is everything alright?" Beelzebub jumped slightly before looking and saying, "You stupid angel, don't scare me like that! And yes, everything is fine, I'm just checking up on things in hell. How was your day?" "Same as always. So... who's Luka?" Beelzebub looked off to the side, debating if they should or shouldn't tell him. Beelzebub sighed before answering, "The forgotten child of the Americans who were suppose to have the anti Christ, but as we both know, ended up here. I saved him from the fire and took care of him for a short while. He was dying and couldn't stay in hell anymore, so Hastur took him to the surface in America. I've been having Hastur keep tabs on him for me. I shouldn't care, but I do," Beelzebub said as Gabriel felt bad. He always thought demons couldn't feel emotions like sadness, love, or kindness, but Beelzebub could along with Crowley. Gabriel walked over to Beelzebub and hugged them causing them to tense up and try to pull away. "Gabriel! What the hell?! Let go!" Beelzebub said as Gabriel kept hugging them before letting them go. "You did a good thing Bee." "I don't do good! I'm evil!" Beelzebub told Gabriel, their face slightly red. Was it from anger or embarrassment? Who knew. Beelzebub left to pick up Aziraphale and Crowley from school, leaving Gabriel alone. Gabriel pulled out his phone and called Hastur. "Hastur, Duke of Hell, speaking," Hastur's voice rang through as Gabriel said, "Hastur, it is me, Archangel Gabriel. I need to ask you something." "If you need my help with something stupid, then the answer is no." "No! It's for Beelzebub," Gabriel told him and gained Hastur's interest. The two conversed and Gabriel got the answer he was looking for. "Lord Beelzebub doesn't do romantic. Beelzebub is all about fighting so what you'll want is something like a gun fight or a wrestling match."

"Thank you Hastur," Gabriel said before ending the call. He started making more calls and setting up the date. Thankfully, there was a paintball area nearby and was forgotten after some trouble stirred with gunshots being heard. It was thankfully not used since then. And thankfully, that day came. Beelzebub and Gabriel picked the two children up from preschool, they had bags full of cards and treats, but all of Aziraphale's treats were gone, so Crowley gave his to his angel. When they got back to the cottage, Eden and Raphael were there. "Are you sure you want to take care of these two? We can always get the witch to babysit them," Gabriel said as Raphael told him, "It'll be fine. What's the worse that could happen? They don't get their magical abilities AKA miracles until they're nine years old. Or around that time, the Almighty has yet to decide when they will gain their abilities." And so, Beelzebub and Gabriel left the cottage with the Almighty AKA Eden and Raphael whom were also taking care of the angelic and demonic toddlers known as Aziraphale and Crowley.

The two got into Beelzebub's car and drove off. "So what exactly are you planning, you pompous pigeon?" Beelzebub asked Gabriel who smiled and replied with, "You shall see when we get there, Bee." Beelzebub sneered, hating the fact that they don't know what they're getting themselves into. What felt eternity(which was really just a few minutes), they got to the abandoned Chattering Order of Saint Beryl AKA the hospital where Warlock and the forgotten child was born in and where Adam was brought to so he can be placed in a family. "Why are we here?" Beelzebub thought as they followed Gabriel out of the car. And suddenly, they, Beelzebub, was surprised with angels and demons alike, shooting at each other with paintball guns. "Gabriel, about time you showed up," Uriel said while wearing protection from the paint. "What is all of this?" Beelzebub asked as Gabriel said, "Surprise. I planned all of this for us and the others as a gift. The Almighty said it was Valentine's day and so I decided to do this. I did have some help." Just then, Hastur ran by, shooting at Uriel who ran off, screaming as he laughed in full on glory. Beelzebub couldn't help but smile. This was the sweetest thing to have ever happened to them. No one was ever this kind to them besides Eve.

The two got geared up and started to join in on the paint war. Hours had passed, the scores tally up and were set; 148 and 148. Angels and demons were tied. It was starting to get late and people started leave until it was just Gabriel and Beelzebub. Finally, the two faced each other, the moon was set high in the sky, the air was slightly chilly, and everything was perfect. Perfect for the death of an angel and/or demon. Beelzebub threw their gun to the side and said, "One on one, Gabriel. Let's settle this with good old hand to hand combat." Gabriel couldn't help but smirk and do the same. The two rushed at each other and started fighting, swinging their fists at each other, dodging, and everything alike. It wasn't until Beelzebub grabbed Gabriel's wrists, the two face to face, smiling widely as the moon shined brightly down on the two. Beelzebub's grey eyes were full of life and, just like flies, they looked slightly rainbow, their pale skin was slightly red from how much running and combat they were doing. Gabriel's purple eyes were glowing, his smile was dorky and a bit toothy, and you could hear his heart if you focus your hearing. The two kept staring at each other's eyes until they slowly inched toward each other subconsciously. Beelzebub's eyes closed, not puckering up, they're just waiting. The next thing they knew, they felt a soft feeling on their forehead, causing Beelzebub to open their eyes and see Gabriel kissing them on the forehead. He pulled away and didn't look at them, a small blush on their face. Beelzebub was stunned before asking, "What the hell was that Gabriel?!" "Sorry! I thought you wanted a kiss!"

The two left the field and for the rest of that month, they didn't utter a single word to each other unless it was about Aziraphale and Crowley or one of them.


	9. The Scout Job Fit For an Angel and Demon

Beelzebub and Gabriel were still getting the hang of taking care of Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was still a lot of work. The Almighty would come and help out while Raphael would stay in heaven to work. They would go to their monthly appointments for the two toddlers, they would ask Anathema and Newt to babysit them when they had paperwork or they would pay The Them if they took up the job of babysitting the two, but the number one thing that Gabriel and Beelzebub did not expect or was ready for; heaven and hell needing both an angel and demon to scoop out a resort. "And make sure Crowley takes his medicine, Raphael would have my head if he found out he didn't take his medicine for his pain during cold, chilly nights," Gabriel told Newt who was already writing down on a list of what to do. "You'll make sure that Aziraphale and Crowley stay out of trouble right?" Beelzebub asked Anathema who had Crowley and Aziraphale in her arms while Beelzebub had their's and Gabriel's bag. "Of course I will. If anything happens to them, I'll let you both know. Besides, what're these two going to get into while you're gone? They're just toddlers." "My goodness, you're right!" Gabriel said before speaking up once more, "Watch out for their wings when they sneeze, if anything magical happens, call us or call Raphael, you have his number. Aziraphale has a habit of getting into the fridge in the middle of the night, do remember to lock it, Crowley cannot leave Aziraphale's side for one second, but when he has to, remember to say this, "Aziraphale is waiting for you, you just need to be patience when wait to see him again. Won't be long." It'll calm him down a tiny bit, but he still gets fussy. Do let Aziraphale have more than one plate of food, if he's still hungry, than a small snack. Oh! And don't let Crowley bite you."

Soon, the two were out the door and met up with Hastur who was smoking. Hastur threw out the smoke and got the bags into the back of his car which was a dirty old thing that looked like it was about to fall apart at any second. "Lord Beelzebub, Gabriel," Hastur greeted as Beelzebub asked, "Where is excatly is this place that we have to scoop out and why do we even need to?" "I wouldn't know, I just know that Michael told me that it was one of his lot that needed a demon and angel to scoop out the place," Hastur said as Gabriel and Beelzebub looked at each other before getting into Hastur's car which smelled worse than him. Gabriel wanted to puke while Beelzebub had to man up and put on a straight face from the smell. Hastur got in the driver's seat and started driving off. Beelzebub was tapping their finger on their a knee while Gabriel checked his phone before putting it away then holding Beelzebub's hand causing Beelzebub to swipe their hand away while a small red tint was on their face. "Don't do that," Beelzebub told him as he smiled at them being defensive like that. Hastur got them to the airport and handed them two tickets along with another set of tickets. "The blue ones are for first class, flight six hundred sixty-six and the other two are your tickets to getting back here in England." "Thank you Hastur," Beelzebub said as Gabriel grabbed the bags and started heading inside. Beelzebub grabbed Hastur's arm causing him to look at them confused. "Keep an eye on the two brats. Make sure that their magic is under control. Luka will be fine for now, but please, watch over those two," Beelzebub told him as he sighed.

He hated Crowley and Aziraphale, but he knew that Beelzebub didn't want to lose their job as a demon. How did he know about the two? It was a strange encounter, he was at the preschool and saw the two. He asked Beelzebub what happened and they explained the whole thing. Neither of them told Gabriel that Hastur knew. Hastur was about to attack on sight of them again, but Beelzebub stopped him and he was stunned when he saw Aziraphale hug him. No one in heaven or hell knows what happened next when Hastur got a hug from the angel, some thought it was another angel or something, some said that he nearly threw Aziraphale at the wall, or said that Hastur shoved Aziraphale into Beelzebub's arms, but what really happened was that Hastur hugged him back and nearly started to sob. Aziraphale saw that Hastur was in pain for the lost of his friend, so he hugged him. Hastur was glad that even as an angel or child, he got a hug from someone who saw pass the good(and the smell). But don't tell anyone what happened. Beelzebub released Hastur and walked after Gabriel while Hastur got into his car and drove off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Intermission because I don't wanna write about the flight or the ride to the resort ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel and Beelzebub were outside where they had once again, come face to face with her mightiness. "Eden, good to see you again," Gabriel greeted the woman who was wearing a sun dress, wearing braids. "Gabriel, Bee, good to see you too!" Eden greeted before hugging the two causing them to wheeze from her tight grip. Eden released the two before saying, "I'm glad you both go out of the house and out of England to come here. Some weird shiz has been going on!" Eden told them while taking a drink from their cup. "Like what?" "People come in, but don't come out. I need you both to figure out why." "Is this why you flew us out to Vegas? I thought it was a trick to get us to have a rest from taking care of Aziraphale and Crowley." "No! Just because I have a weird tendency to have people fall into my ineffable trap, doesn't mean I'm joking about this one!" Eden told Beelzebub while Gabriel cut them both off. "So The Lotus Hotel and Casino. A lot of reports come from this place where people fall into temptation." "And most of my workers came here to tempt people, but I haven't gotten any report form them in a long while," Beelzebub told Gabriel as Eden said, "Stay on your guard and don't fall any anything." With that Eden left while Gabriel and Beelzebub sighed before walking in and getting signed in.

The two got to their room which had two beds. Beelzebub and Gabriel placed their bags down on their bed before coming up with a plan to scoop out the place. "This place is huge and without our holy and unholy miracles, we can't get this job done within an hour. It'll a week or two!" Gabriel said as Beelzebub replied, "We just have to do what we can before sending in two others to check this place out. But something about this place is unsettling, mostly of the workers." Gabriel saw a plate of cookies on the counter. Gabriel grabbed one and was about to try it. Beelzebub turned around and saw it and sensed the louring evil scent. "Gabriel no!" Beelzebub exclaimed as they threw their toothbrush at the cookie causing him to drop the cookie which had broke. "Hey!" Gabriel called out as Beelzebub walked over and picked up the crumbs. "I'm surprised you didn't smell it. This isn't normal magic or just a normal cookie. It's something to lore humans into, to eating," Beelzebub said as they threw the crumbs away before grabbing a few cookies and putting them into a baggy then putting it into their bag. "So why lore humans?" "I don't know. Something about this whole place is fishy," Beelzebub told Gabriel.

Beelzebub grabbed their bag and went to the bathroom while Gabriel stayed in the bedroom to change. When they were done, Gabriel was in awe shock, Beelzebub was upset that someone had replaced their shirts and pants with dresses, shirts, and skirts. "This is ridiculous," Beelzebub growled out as Gabriel walked over causing them to look and take a step back into a wall. Gabriel reached out causing Beelzebub to tense up and close their eye. Gabriel released Beelzebub's hair out of the bun it was in causing it to fall down and really fit their image. "There. Perfect, just needs a flower," Gabriel told them as Beelzebub was stunned. Gabriel took notice before backing off and saying, "No need to be scared. I was just helping you look your part." This was going to be a long job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. The Lotus Casino from Percy Jackson. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.


	10. A Day With Uncle Hastur(Yikes-)

It had been a day for the archangel and prince of gluttony when they flew out to Las Vegas for that Lotus Casino and Hotel job they have to do, but this isn't about them today, this is about Hastur who is right now, driving an old, rusty car that still works perfectly, just needs a good washing and a new paint job. What was playing on the radio might shock demons, maybe angels as well, but what was playing was country jazz. Sure, it may be a bit strange, but Hastur enjoyed it strangely. He looked about the same when it came to hair and eye color, but he was cleaned up and dressed neatly, and most importantly, he didn't smell like shit. Why was Hastur driving and dressed so nicely? Well, he was driving to pick up a certain angel and demon from preschool. He managed to get in touch with Anathema and Newt about him babysitting them when they had things come up and it was good timing because both Anathema and Newt had gotten a call from Anathema's mother right after their call with Hastur which was forty-five minutes ago about them going over and getting to know each other. They debated on if they should or shouldn't trust Hastur, but who else were they going to trust? So, they gave in, gave him a call, and it was set in motion. Just so it's know, it was last night and during that whole night, Hastur was rushing to be cleaned. Why? He didn't want to leave a smell and he didn't want Aziraphale to gag. He loved Aziraphale as if he was family, he didn't before, but when Aziraphale hugged him, he turned soft.

Normally he would make fun of demons who turned soft AKA Crowley, but now he was unable to make fun of any demons going soft. He would hate himself for going soft all because of a stupid hug, but at the same time, he was happy because he needed that hug and he got that hug from the second to the last person who he thought would hug him. But back to the here and now, Hastur drove up to the school and saw humans picking up their children while some kids sat on the side, waiting for their parents and others were climbing onto a bus. To the side, at the playground, he saw the little children playing and he saw the two toddlers known as Aziraphale and Crowley staying to the side, reading a book. A toddler ran from the playground to their mothers before they headed home so Hastur got out of his car and whistled, gaining the attention of Aziraphale and Crowley. "Hash!" Aziraphale called out as he got up and ran right toward Hastur while Crowley got up, closing the book and handing it to the teacher before following Aziraphale, glaring at Hastur with hate in his eyes, like a fox ready to attack even if he is a snake. Hastur picked up Aziraphale and Crowley and held them in his arms as the same teacher. holding the book Aziraphale and Crowely were reading, came over and asked, "Are you Hastur Lavista, the boys' uncle?" "Yes, that would be me, their uncle," Hastur said as the teacher sighed and pushed up their glasses. "I'm Mx. McCarthy, their teacher. I wanted to introduce myself in case their brother and aunt wasn't here to pick them up again and you had to pick them up. I also wanted to tell you about Crowley's misbehavior during class."

"What did the garden snake do?" Hastur asked and Mx. McCarthy told him, "I was teaching the little ones on how to count, and during the middle of it all, he yelled and it scared the children while Aziraphale cried. He held Aziraphale and I had to sadly desperate them which did not end well," they held their hand which was wrapped up. Hastur looked at Crowley with an eyebrow raised as Crowley looked down, grumbling under his breath. "I'd like for you or their family to teach him better manners. I'm not upset, just sad that Crowley would do this. He's a sweet boy and he's always quiet, I don't know what happened to him today, but do teach him it's not okay to bite," they said as Hastur nodded and replied, "I'll teach him not to bite. Have a wonderful day, Mx. McCarthy," he said as they left to attend to the other students while Hastur put the two in the car before getting in and driving off. "Crowley, care to explain?" Hastur asked as Crowley lashed out with words that didn't really make sense. "Right, you can't talk, but Aziraphale can, barely. Aziraphale?" "I got hit, Crowy yelled," Aziraphale said with a struggled voice. Hastur sighed before asking, "And how?" Neither of them spoke, causing Hastur to sigh. "Would you both like ice cream because of what happened?" "Yis!" Aziraphale cried out happily while Crowley kept his arms crossed. After the three got their ice cream, they went to Beelzebub and Gabriel's cottage and went in after Hastur found the key in the light that's on the side of the front door frame. Hastur unlocked the door and got the kids inside. Crowley had given his ice cream to Aziraphale who had finished it so Crowley was holding Hastur's ice cream so Hastur could carry the two boys in.

"Alright, Aziraphale, finish up that ice cream or give it back to Crowley," Hastur said as Aziraphale gave the rest to Crowley who didn't want it, but ate it so he doesn't make Aziraphale feel bad. "Crowley, Aziraphale, I want you both to get ready for a bath, I have to talk to Gabriel and Beelzebub about what happened today," Hastur said as he took his ice cream from Crowley and ate it while Crowley and Aziraphale went upstairs after Crowley finished the remains of his ice cream. Hastur texted Beelzebub and Gabriel what happened, "Lord Beelzebub, I'm babysitting the two idiots for the two humans who had to leave, and something happened. Crowley lashed out at a group of children because Aziraphale got hurt, their teacher, McCarthy had to separate them and ended up getting bit by Crowley. It's commendable that Crowley was protecting Azira, but even so, he did wrong. I'm going have to prevent him from sleeping in Aziraphale's bedroom for two days." Hastur sent the message before heading up to give the two boys a bath which ended with Hastur getting dunked into the water by Aziraphale having sudden strength. Seems like their magical abilities are coming back, which means Hastur, Beelzebub, and Gabriel are going to need to keep a close eye on them. Hastur got them dried and dressed before letting them go play while Hastur went downstairs and raid the kitchen. "What do children eat again?" Hastur asked himself mentally as he found a piece of paper in Beelzebub's handwriting. It was a recipe for their favorite food of all time; lasagna. "This shouldn't be hard," Hastur thought as he started to follow the instructions.

Thankfully, it didn't take long and the little brats had eaten before they were sent off to bed for the evening. Hastur sighed while cleaning the dishes, absolutely tired and questioning why Crowley would want to protect an angel of all creatures. Well, he couldn't blame him, Hastur wants to protect Aziraphale and him, but only because the two idiots were too young and hadn't grown into their angelic and demonic power, as far as he knew. But here's one thing Hastur didn't question, he didn't question how he understood the two who could barely talk. Beelzebub could understand them just fine thanks to their many years of raising children, Gabriel couldn't. But Hastur? How he understood what they were trying to say or get at was mind boggling and before you say, "It's because he's a true softie." you would be wrong. Hastur, in fact, wouldn't hesitate to hurt a human child or any child at that. How he understood was truly a mystery for anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK AT IT AGAIN!


End file.
